From the CL Archives: The Wednesday Guy

There is a fellow who recently started posting and has mastered the art of appealing to the intelligent, romantic, lonely, straight female willing to be seduced by a well-crafted turn of phrase. If I were not attached and older than he (a liability to many men, apparently), I would have emailed him by now. Maybe he hasn't received the reply that will win his heart, maybe he's still looking, but I'm so glad the WG continues to post. I will miss his posts when he finds his heart's desire and has no further need to express himself on CL.

Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I give you excerpts from the Wednesday Guy (Sigh!!):

"...I'll tell you two (secrets), shall I?

"The first is that I can be moved. I don't mean physically, because lots of things can jostle me about. I mean emotionally moved: touched, deeply affected, whatever term you prefer. I can be stopped in my tracks by the beauty of a perfectly phrased lyric or the symmetry of hedgerows. Or the elegance of highly optimized computer code, for that matter. I would by no means be described as "flaky" by anyone who knows me: I'm a logical reasoner, a skeptical thinker and a lover of the scientific method. But nonetheless the point--the secret--is that I'm one of those lads for whom beauty of all forms can (and frequently does) sound a resonant chime deep inside me.

"I suppose that makes me sound a bit like a foppish dandy, but so be it. I'll simply write in a future letter about my motorcycle trips if my fragile male ego is bruised after I submit this.

"The second secret is that my living room is painted the precise color of hockey arena vending machine hot chocolate. Yes, really. One of my favorite smells growing up was hot chocolate after playing hockey, and so when I found a paint shop on !@£$%^& that claimed to be able to match the color of any object... well, you can imagine the rest. The fun part is, nobody suspects a thing: it just looks like a warm earthy brown to house guests. But you and I know differently.

"There are so many other things I had meant to mention, so many tales to tell and traits to trot out, but this post is already so long I think I'll save them for future letters.

"I trust this has been a sufficient introduction to both my character and my intent. I will continue to send my words, secret and otherwise, winging their electronic way to you each Wednesday.

"Until next week, I remain
Your ardent, if unmet, suitor."

And another excerpt:

"...I am in a great mood, even on this (grey) midweek afternoon. This morning the radio sang me a song I hadn't heard in years. The melody carried with it a rush of happy memories from a trip I took a few years back to visit the four corners of North America via motorcycle.

"(That trip makes me seem FAR more cool than I actually am, but I'm not above dropping mention of things like that to try to pique your interest; hey, if Macy's wants to sell something they put it in the window, right?)

"I love music: rock, blues, pop, shoegazer, classical, funk, big band, punk ... you name it. From "music to bang your head to" to "music that makes you feel like you should push the button for your floor." I like lots of obscure bands, but I still like them after they become popular. And I continue to like bands long after they're no longer popular. I especially enjoy witty lyrics and songs that tell stories. I check aurgasm.us every day and I'm on my 5th iPod.

"But even so, that same iPod still betrays my utter lack of cool:

"There I am with my headphones on, looking for all the world like I'm digging the latest club remix, and it probably appears as if ... well, as if I'm not the sort of guy who uses unhip words like "digging." Or unhip words like "unhip," for that matter.

"But the truth is, inside my cold-day cocoon of headphones and wool cap it's as likely as not that I'm listening to some audiobook, a BBC radio comedy show, a podcast or maybe a lecture series. I'm definitely "student for life" material."

Sigh. Articulate, full of curiosity, a music lover. And he knows how to spell and use 'pique'! Maidens with brains in their heads are probably swooning by the dozens. If not, they're idiots.