Singing Lessons

I’ve never thought I was much of a teacher. That’s not what I went to school for. Music school was there to teach me to be a better musician, not to show me how to get others to the same point. The idea of me molding, modeling, encouraging, tweaking, coddling, or nudging a young singer was so vague it might as well have been a wisp of smoke in the metaphorical distance. Laughable! That was a job for others, I blithely declared to myself. Tra-la-la! I was on this earth to perform. At least, that used to be the mantra.

A few days ago, I hugged my last student goodbye, after subbing at a music school for three months. And, I actually had the feeling some of those girls were going to miss their lessons with me. This has kind of knocked me sideways because most of the time I’m in that familiar mindset of fearing they’ll figure out I’m sort of a credential-less fraud, like a female Wizard of Oz – frantically pulling levers behind a velvet curtain at the back of the classroom, filling their brains with nothing but hot air.

But damned if I didn’t actually have something to teach them. Holy moly, I actually saw and heard changes. Note ranges increased, and rhythms sharpened. Voices sounded more effortless and words were sung with actual feeling. They didn’t carry that knowledge in with them. I gave it to them. Huh! And double-damned if they didn’t teach me something back. I learned to lay things out in a slightly different way for every student. I learned there’s baggage: that they may pretend things are normal, but starting at a new school, or having a backpack stolen, or getting into a fight with their mother, or not eating enough before their lesson could really mess them up and be heard in their voices. I learned that having a good lesson could palpably lift their moods – and mine. These are all genuine, giddy revelations.

I’m still a student, taking lessons from my own voice teacher. It’s something that we who continue to sing will do from time to time, even in middle life, to keep on top of our game. Most of my singing life I’ve been gathering up knowledge like kindling and stuffing it away for later use. I’ve set it alight on stage and shared it with audiences, but that’s fleeting, and more emotional than cerebral. I think this is the first time I’ve really been aware of passing it on in a form that might just get passed along to others. That may or may not ever happen, but nonetheless, I guess I’d call that a wee little legacy.

Sweet thought, that.